It’s Better In New York – An Open Letter

Dear Reader,

            My wife and I made the big mistake of moving to Florida. We did it for what we thought were good reasons. To begin with, my wife has Raynaud’s Syndrome, which causes her to always be cold, to the extent that her fingers frequently turn a lovely shade of purple.

            And there were personal, professional and financial reasons – or so we thought. None of those were fulfilled; in fact, almost the exact opposite.

            We were both born and lived most of our lives in Manhattan. That, however, was not the cause of feeling the move as our near fatal mistake. We had moved from Manhattan to Long Island, for reasons not relevant here, so the transition wasn’t as abrupt as one might assume.

            No, it was exclusively the state of the State of Florida.

            As I said, my wife and I were both born in Manhattan and, while we lived most of our lives on that island, both of us being in show business has caused us to live, sometimes briefly and sometimes longer, in a variety of locations, states and countries. Nowhere have we ever had the horrific experience of Florida.

            From the climate, the drinking water, the non-seasoned bland food, the wardrobe, to the attitude of the transplanted and/or native residents, who seem to be transformed by the single word retired into an aggressive form of being almost sociopathic, who believe that they are the only ones who exist and everyone else MUST accommodate them in all forms and varieties of life from walking to shopping to driving their car.

            And I’ve spoken with many native born, non-retired, Floridians who feel the same as we do about the climate, drinking water, bland food, et al.

            In full disclosure, I will state that I’ve spoken with a few transplants who chose to live in Florida and love it, but their number is so miniscule that in comparison it’s almost immeasurable. On the other hand, I’ve spoken with hundreds of transplants who moved to Florida for a variety of reasons, some as long as twenty or thirty years ago, who have told me that they hate it, always have, and would move back in the blink of an eye if they could.

            When we told them that we’re now going home they immediately say – “I’ll go with you!”

            Yes, we’re going home.

            We’re now in the process of making preparations for our departure from the land of the living dead because it’s better in New York!

The End

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